Dawn of Awakening

At the bay of the sea
I saw a Pearl inside the cluster
Free yet so secured

Waving my bare hands
inside the water full of ripples
I was living the moment of
utter quiescence.

Then,

I wondered,

It’s been months since I even tried to write up an actual blog about something. Something so vulnerable that is in my mind from quite a time now.
I’ve had some rant left in me about current affairs and stuff that even resembles hope for our future. All that constant constipated stuff that covers up that whole breaking news hour.

Sometimes, I wonder, why they chose us. Us over any other species. A species which is been gifted with such Intellect. A species which can communicate and Understand.
We’re so close to achieving greatness yet so far. We all have big dreams for ourselves. We all, won’t let a single eye bat our own; Our family. Have we finally reached the point where
Only the blood-related is considered as Family. Is there any trace of Humanity left on this Planet.

Sometimes, I wish i could track back our footprints and start from the scratch. But maybe i was too late. Introduced too late, for such delicate situation.
I’m no saint. I’m inseparable. Exposed at times where i don’t need to be. Perhaps the time is what, I don’t have or is it the Patience? Which I never cared to keep.
So what went wrong? It’s been approximately 14 billion years since the Big Bang. Even After accomplishing things and technology that were never predicted, We stand aside from the sole intention we were meant to live for. Is it something that has to do with our insecurities? Is it the influence of the greed to get more; expect more? Are we really doing this?

Sometimes, I get panicked. Not because I’m supposed to be but maybe, i was meant to be. I panic when the situation is out of my bounds. I fear when the wrongdoing has all the
stronghold. I dismay when something happens even when i never intended for it. Similarly, this time, we’re living in, is no illusion of terror, It actually is the apocalypse
which we never hoped to see. And maybe, we’re too late to stop it. Maybe, we’re the only reason it occurred in the first place. Maybe, we were too busy running after the things which can be priced. Concentrated on filling our lust and longing, while our only hope; our only planet, Panicked.

Sometimes, I hope for a change. Not a change that could revolutionalize the world. Not a change that would jeopardize our position either but a change in the thought process. Change in the opinion of every individual on a scale where there is some hope left for Unity. Where we all could deal with our deeds. Kneel down to our Sins. Where at least there’s some pitch left for our future to cope up. Where we could actually build something so concrete that it can be shattered by nothing.

I never asked to be special. I never asked for anything fancy. I never asked for this discreet pain. I never asked for this broken Peace. I never asked for the silent Wars and Politics.
I never asked for a day where i wake up in the morning, and everything is either dead or lost. I never hoped to see that day. And maybe, i shall never be.
The only thing i ever asked for is the Survival of the innocent. Endurance for Humanity.
To the wrongs that need resistance, To the right that needs assistance, To the future in the distance, Give yourselves. – ( By CCC)

Fin.

-Abhishek

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Vague Conviction

From cluster of Mankind
Comes the vulnerabilities
And insecurity of every human entity
Their anxieties and nullification.

Every time I look up in the skies
I see ourselves beneath
Huge opportunities
With the flame in my eyes
I always wish I had no
Humane penetration
Of the things which have
No perseverance.

Running from the responsibilities
Of the knots made up in our minds
I can never offer my complete
Dedication for something
That’s of no existence.

To act or to pretend
Requires no bullshit reason
Sedating from fantasies
Have no explanation.

We are all Humane
Pursuing a dream which
Was never ours.

I hope someday when
We do realize
What’s our purpose for living
We thrive as a wholesome
To achieve the impossible.

Fin.

-Abhishek

Influenced – a virtue of ignorance

We all think about our past, don’t we. At least I do. I always have these dreams where I try to undo and redo everything, literally. To be honest,  I’m  not much of a proud person for my past. although doesn’t entirely means that I had a miserable past or anything obnoxious but certainly it was a casual past with lots of ups and downs. I was a bright kid in my high school, with good grades, nice friends, and the Best Parents. But it’s the bad decisions that make me overthink certain things that I probably had been getting over with. (at least now)

There were many occurences when I used to ask  myself, who I really am? Am I being real? Am I still a kid my parents think I am? And more importantly, who do I really want to be?

The truth is, you’re a lot of things to a lot of people – you’re interesting like that. You can be one thing on the web and still be kind of different in reality. You can be someone to look up to, and know what it feels like to get rejected. You can be righteous in your decisions and still slip up and make mistakes more often.

But, with so many versions of yourself, it’s easy to forget the one thing that keeps you real – the undeniable fact that original & genuine first edition of yourself.

The point is when you reach the moment where you have to ask yourself, who am I really? Take a break, & Start again. And always remember, you’re Beyond the Influence.

Only one mantra – Be Real (not as easy as it sounds)

You might have heard this from tons of people for thousands of times, telling you “just be yourself” – but what does that really mean? Knowing who you are and what you believe in is crucial. Recognizing the influences in your life (both good and bad) makes it easier for you to make necessary decisions regarding  who to hang out with and whether or not to try things such as drugs or alcohol.

There is a complicated list of reasons why people try or use drugs. Some people do it to change the way they feel. Sometimes people use drugs to go along with the crowd (getting influenced) or maybe in the fear of not being accepted by others or sometimes to cover up their insecurities. Acknowledge this, former users often say that drugs ended up isolating them from friends and family and made them feel even more alone. Perhaps many even lost whatever they had remaining in their lives. Nobody is actually forced to engage with stuff like this, although condition matters. (like somebody was forced) Being Optimistic here, You can always find a better way to sort things, find a better reason to live. Dedicate your time with the things you’re good at. Believe me, I actually used to think that I’m good for nothing but with time, patience, and persistence you discover more about yourselves.

Instead of going along with what some people are doing, you could spend more of your energy on yourself, your self-belief,  your viewpoints, your principles , and your own way of doing things. You can’t control what another person thinks about you. Isn’t it more worthwhile to work on what you think about yourself, and not try to shape someone else’s impression of you?

Just be yourself and hang with people who encourage you to be who you are, and not who they want you to be.

And don’t be too hard on yourself; you may be your most ruthless critic. Hang out with people who support you and be careful of people who are all about negativity. Never take a route which will only solve your problems temporarily. Be proud of yourself with no regrets. ( No kidding i swear)

May the FORCE be with you.

Fin.
– Abhishek

We’re all Flawed, but does it really matters?

The supposedly most independent species alive; Humans! yet we’re all bounded by something for someone or somewhere at some point, up to some extent. We all have our strongholds and weaknesses. It’s all too easy to think you need to change. Not just the things you do, but who you are.
Let’s consider if we had had everything that we ever wished to have. Doesn’t feel much of an adventure, does it? Although we will always live to feed our own needs and expectations or for others. But does it really matter? In my very honest opinion, it doesn’t. and you know why?

Let’s set your mind to the Logic perspective switch, first or foremost were just a living organism, and will eventually die someday. Even though we had a great life or worse the resultant is gonna be the same in the end. but what matters is how we lived it. Now switch your perspective switch to Philosophy, We’re all gonna survive at the age of the century where Wars have been already fought, places have been independent. One can live with an open-mind and Freedom (debatable) but what really matters is ‘Influence’. Influence may seem like nothing if you are determined enough but it does affect everything. It may be anything, be it some nice movie that you had watched, or some TED talk speech or anything that you had witnessed recently or in the past. Everything around us exists because of a cause. some may think differently but we can get influenced by anything whatsoever. It’s only a matter of time when inspiration grows as a plant of influence in your mind. I still remember when I watched a movie called Whiplash, I used to dream about being a drummer and with an imaginary drum set around me and bang whatever thing I see with a drummer-like expressions. It was basically a movie about a focused drummer who wanted to learn from the best but lost his way in the middle but eventually got back on track, influenced by the rage against his teacher or say to prove himself.

Also, a show that I had watched lately called Mr.Robot, it had one tremendous dialogue which I really think makes a difference in real life. ‘ Is it that we collectively thought Steve Jobs was a great man, even when we knew he made billions off the backs of children? Or maybe it’s that it feels like all our heroes are counterfeit. The world itself is just one big hoax, spamming each other with our running commentary of bullshit masquerading as insight, our social media faking intimacy. Or is it that we voted for this? Not with our rigged elections, but with our things, our property, our money. I’m not saying anything new. We all know why we do this, not because Hunger Games books makes us happy but because we wanna be sedated, because it’s painful not to pretend, because we’re cowards. Fuck society.’

I used to believe in what I see or what is real, but in reality, whatever happens in front of our eyes is not always the truth. It may be an elusion of the reality. Like everything in life has a behind the scenes picture.
Every day I see so many of people ranting over the Internet with their bandwagons, with issues of no purpose. One thing we all must understand is that we’re all flawed. whatever it maybe, movie, character, politicians, government or even your own parents/teachers. Criticism and judgment are two faces of a coin but are completely opposite. Now, Flawed doesn’t mean not acceptable or anything worse but not Perfect either, Nobody Is Perfect anyway.
We must stop running after the things that are only artificially important and start running after the things that matter for real and makes a difference . Stop the Succes hunting and try to be responsible for a try. Make your priorities straight, Don’t consider your needs a priority.
People are more apt to share their struggles once they feel like they’re on the other side. It’s a lot less scary so say “This is who I used to be” than “This is what I struggle with sometimes.”
I kept a running mental tally of all the ways I screwed up—all the dumb things that I have said, the stupid ideas I suggested, infinite no. of poor decisions I have made and the inevitably unsuccessful attempts I made to make people like me. How could they when I wasn’t willing to lead the way?
But this is my truth, and I give it to you, genuinely and uncensored. On a primal level, I really want to be the thriving person who should be leading the way and also accepted by all with all due respect, but I learn a little more every day that my own self-respect is the foundation of ever lasting joy.

Goodbye, amigos!

May the FORCE be with you!

Fin.

– Abhishek

LAWS OF FRUSTRATION

Ever been so pissed at something or somewhere that you feel the need or the intent to kill someone. I mean not for real but yeah, having a thought about it for a second.

I live or say I survive in Mumbai, (India).
Have to say the most pathetic thing about this city is the hot & humid weather and the Chaos.
and more importantly, THERE ARE PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, LITERALLY!
I have been here for the past 3 years; Life couldn’t have been more brutal.
On the bright side, there were its ups and downs too. Although there were many really cherishing and fun moments too. Considering what I’ve learnt here, the knowledge I inculcated, life-learning lessons that I’ve been through and the independent living experience. With over a population of 20 million, this City can teach you whatever lesson it wants you to, Trust me.

The major problem most of the time I deal with is, ‘Frustration’ YES freaking ‘FRUSTRATION’.

I mean C’mon you can’t keep your ‘cool’ here, no meditation will work at least, in my opinion, Peace of mind just seems to be a myth sometimes. I had dealt with many problems in my short life span but this is something that is maybe out of my bounds and reaches.

This might be because of many reasons.
However, I can state some from my perspectives-

  1. People- It’s because of too many Freaking people that I have to deal with on daily basis. Creeps and stereotypes aren’t really hard to find here.
  2. Traveling- Now it may seem to be a good thing when you’re going for a road trip or something with the people whom you like or care about like Friends, Family or maybe colleagues.

But here it’s a completely different approach as just because of the tiniest thing or stuff you have to do, you gotta travel. Either by road or Train. Which is ridiculously painstaking in peak hours especially.

Regardless of what time you travel, the moment you get outside, you’ll find 100 terrible reasons to get back to your couch and relax in peace. maybe. not even sure about that too now.

  1. Being Busy- Yes it’s frustrating and one of the main reasons I’m constantly frustrated from the inside.

I wish I had more people to talk to who wouldn’t judge me for the words I say. Honestly, I do have some people to talk about this but then my trust has been broken quite a many times, that I don’t trust the people that are there for me.

It has highly adverse effects on work, family, studying or anything that needs your prime focus.

  1. Feeling of worthlessness- There have been many moments in my life, where I have felt worthless. It’s not that I’m too bad at many things, but I’m not great either. I always thought if everyone was born with some talent, but no it’s all up to you. How you develop your passion into something worthful, turn your months and years of hard work into meaningful results, how you sacrifice things for yourself or your family.

The only commodity that I rarely have is Dedication. I know I need to work on it and it’s probably that one thing that can change my approach towards my perception of living and avoid more frustration or stress problems. But if it was that easy I wouldn’t have been writing this in the first place. anyways it’s pretty common thing that most of us face.

  1. Depression/ Anxieties- Nah. I ain’t explaining this. If you’ve come this far, I presume you know how killing this can be! Pfft.

Frustration can be either from the inside or outside. (meaning- soul or the environment) From the mind or the body. From something you can see, or you don’t. But never the less you gonna face it somewhere and at some point of the life, eventually.

Every day, when I wake up I just hope nothing gets on my nerves today.

Okay. Then I’m Done for now. Enough with this thing, right?
And Thank you if you’ve read this whole thing. I really mean it!
Good luck dealing with your Issues or problems and I hope you tackle them with ease, unlike me.

*rubs hands together and ready to play FIFA and get out my remaining frustration*

P.S- It doesn’t end here because I’m going to share more of my weird frustrating fantasies and anxiety theories.

Fin.

– Abhishek